date:
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
argh blogger's weird again, can't upload the halloween pics! haha oh well...
still busy mugging for exams=/ stats ytd was suprisingly easier than expected!! =D finished an hour efore time's up.. more worried for bc now, cause i really don't know what's gg on=/ sigh...
zzz... so so tired.. can't wait for exams to be over!
kaela @
1:09:00 AM
date:
Sunday, October 28, 2007
from my most beloved:
your guardian angel lyrics~When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm stronger I've figured out
How this world turns cold and breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one
I will never let you fallI'll stand up with you foreverI'll be there for you through it allEven if saving you sends me to heavenIt's ok. It's ok. It's ok.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
Cuz you're my, you're my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away,
Please tell me you'll stay, stay
Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be ok
Though my skies are turning gray
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
kaela @
1:11:00 PM
date:
over you by
chris daughtry, a great track that i feel relates very well now. read into the lyrics!
Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the oneTo build me up and tear me down,Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you leftJust left me cold and out of breath.I fell too far, was in way too deep.Guess I let you get the best of me.
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I
never thought I'd doubt you,I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.I guess it's really over.I'm finally getting better.And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,I got over you.You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,A lot of others opened up,So did my eyes so I could see
That
you never were the best for me.
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without youMore than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got
over you.
kaela @
12:58:00 PM
date:
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
my current favourite song. was passing by ear2 and heard this track playing. was immediately drawn by it and went to purchase the cd immediately! haha the singer's called olivia, a local talent, album's called fall in love with olivia
so here are the lyrics, i can't find the english trnanslation! anyone who can, let me know okay? thanks! =D PS> THE SONG'S THE ONE PLAYING ON MY BLOG NOW!
Koi ni Ochite (fall in love, jap)Moshimo negai ga kanau nara
Toiki wo shiroi bara ni kaete
Aenai hi ni wa heyajuu ni kazarimashou
Anata wo omoinagara
Darling, I want you aitakute
Tokimeku koi ni kakedashi sou na no
Maigo no you ni tachisukumu
Watashi wo sugu ni todoketakute
Daiyaru mawashite te wo tometa
I'm just woman
Fall in love
If my wishes can be true
Will you change my sighs
To roses, whiter roses
Decorate them for you
Thinkin' 'bout you every night
And find out where I am
I am not
Livin' in your heart
Darling, I need you dou shite mo
Kuchi ni dasenai negai ga aru no yo
Doyou no yoru to nichiyou no
Anata ga itsumo hoshii kara
Daiyaru mawashite te wo tometa
I'm just woman
Fall in love
Darling, you love me ima sugu ni
Anata no koe ga kikitaku naru no yo
Riyote de hoho wo osaete mo
Tohou ni kureru yoru ga kirai
Daiyaru mawashite te wo tometa
I'm just a woman
Fall in love
Don't you remember
When you were here
Without a thinking
We were caught in fire
I've got a love song
But where it goes
Three loving hearts are
Pullin' apart of one
Can't stop you, can't hold you, can't wait no more
I'm just woman
Fall in love
I'm just woman
Fall in love
kaela @
11:58:00 PM
date:
yawn... been really busy mugging and working... exams in 2 days! gosh i'm so freaked out=/ mugmugmugmugmug!!
haha tdy at beans was pretty eventful though. stickman was working, so got free latte. then there was travis, ahmad, hidayah, yaya, glenn.. so they were nice lah and chatted with me=D and yuan happened to pop by too, and there was xiu ting too! and i complted my targeted chaps=D finished all the topics with examples and questions done! tmr will be full exam paper and questions day, oh and memorising certain theory day=/
oh and my ipod is back and fully restored!! =D
lol i'm just crapping=/
okay here's a great track, from olivia's album, i'm a fan=D
"The Rose"
Some say love, it is a river
that drowns the tender reed.
Some say love,
it is a razorthat leaves your soul to bleed.
Some say love, it is a hunger,
an endless aching need.
I say love, it is a flower,
and you its only seed.
It's the heart afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance.
It's the dream afraid of waking
that never takes the chance.
It's the one who won't be taken,
who cannot seem to give,
and the soul afraid of dyin'
that never learns to live.
When the night has been too lonely
and the road has been too long,
and you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong,
just remember in the winter
far beneath the bitter snows
lies the seed that with the sun's love
in the spring becomes the rose.
kaela @
11:35:00 PM
date:
Sunday, October 21, 2007
i'm such a screwed up person. i just seem to make everyone i love upset at me.
and it hurts so bad.
kaela @
12:16:00 AM
date:
Saturday, October 20, 2007
i really don't want any conflict... please don't argue for me too okay? it's alright...
i know i shouldn't have posted anything, i'm deleting the post...
i'm really don't want things to escalate any further, please... just stop..
kaela @
11:51:00 PM
date:
been so busy mugging i havent been online...
was suprised to see a debate on my tagboard..
one that brought instant tears=(
actually, i just blogged to release my frustrations, and i really had the intention of deleting it the next morn... but it slipped my mind cause i rushed off for work the entire day.. and knocked out the moment i reached home.
i just really want things to be good... somehow, i just felt blamed cause of the immediate "what you wrote was irrelevant" response from them when i saw the group project... didn't occur to me my blog's so widely read, cause usually the tagboard's dusty, and i just simply express my thoughts freely.. seems like, i assumed wrongly.
it's precisely because i value our friendship so much, i just swallowed everything down and not want to face a confrontation... hence i chose the cowardy route of blogging. of course i loved being in a group with my closest pals, after so many years we really can work tgt..
i guess i just snapped inside when i felt blamed somehow by them. cause the closer people are to you, you kinda value what they say even more, read into their words even more...
to liy, i'm sorry you think that way, sorry for thinking too much of your comments, and for causing you disappointment. yeah so i guess i was overly dramatic and emotional. nevertheless, i believe i wasn't entirely wrong either. if you don't agree, it's okay, cause it doesn't matter, it's OVER anyway, and yes, at least we passed that damned ob. we really should focus more on the exams=/
as for
anonymous, just FREAKING GET LOST. . i hate GUTLESS CREEPS who tag so critically and yet have NO FREAKING GUTS to leave a name. i got news for you, I'M NOT INTERESTED IN FEEDBACK THAT ARE AUTHORLESS.
and don't assume you know me that well. don't like my posts, DON'T READ them. they aren't for you anyway. you're welcome to continue tagging anonymously with your warped sense of assumptions oif you insist on being childish. in a way, you do help dust my tagboard.
maybe i should just change my blog add again.. i'm sick of having goodness-knows-who people reading.
on a better note, i've been mugging for exams. went to west coast mac tdy with qiu and le.. haha qiu and i were dizzy over accounts=/ but i think we were more or less pdtive.. went to beans after when they were all leaving for dinner to continue mugging.. hmmm i'm on shift tmr=/ oh well.
kaela @
11:07:00 PM
date:
Friday, October 12, 2007
yawn... computing is such a killer.
after rushing for 3 days alr, (with consistent work in classes) i'm still not fully done. it gna be due in a few hours!
oh yup, got some results of my first sem alr. sigh didn't do too well. stats: distinction, accounts, High distinction, but ob only credit for individual and pass for group=/ sigh think ob's really tough...
hmmm been quite busy of late, with work and all that i've been having the weirdest dreams! haha like how 2 of the dogs in my shop came to life and became my pets=D
oh and speaking of the shop, it is fully webbed thanks to adelina=D haha we have a serious infestation of spiders! all in the good name of halloween=D
zzz okays back to work=D
kaela @
1:37:00 PM
date:
Sunday, October 07, 2007
feeling random and since i had like 2 hours to kill before heading to work, i went to update my facebook applications and friendster andyes, my poorly maintained blog=) since i've been busy and lazy of late, havent got much pics uploaded, but i managed to rummage through old folders and came up with old pics i havent posted before (methinks.) =D
this was on qiu's bday=D see the girl grin with exuberating joy when she held up her new CK boxer=D
i love my dear qiu! =D
heh retarded=D
spastism
fion, my og member=D
ghazy!! =D from my og too!
jiaying~ from og too!
met up with dear chunpipn last last wed=D after so long! sat at secret recipe and took all sorts of spastic retarded pics just like old AC days. will upload them soon=D meanwhile the few bites i have on my cam.
sipping iced lemon tea=D she more like GULPED it down=D heheh!
omgdeliiciioussstrawberrycheesecake!
hmmm and i think this is white chocolate macadaemia. mmmmm~
gosh i miss her!
haha this is really old! like one year ago! on rah phua's bday and i koped her balloons=D good ol' mad AC days=D
oh and i think most of you guys know by now what happended to POOR QING. look at him tongue-in-cheek with bandaged leg writhing in pain=D
haha okay that's for now, off to work! =D
kaela @
1:31:00 PM
date:
Thursday, October 04, 2007
yuo so this song we sang in church had this bridge that really touched me. goes like
heal my heart and make it cleanopen up my eyes to the things unseenshow me how to love like you have loved mebreak my heart for what breaks yourseverything i am for your kingdom's cause as i walk from Earth into Eternity.sigh. sometimes i wonder how 2 christians can do such indespicable stuff.
2 CHRISTIANS. christians who claim they LOVE God.
part of me is still somewhat bitter and resentful. like I WANT VENGEANCE resentful. even though it's been like 2 weeks since i've learnt of it, it still bothers me. i try so hard not to let it affect me, really.
gg to church and cell group is what really keeps me gg. everythime i feel so renwed, like i'm gicen a chance to start over once again. but somehow i always end up messing that chance up=/
sigh there just seems to be a never ending flow of things to be done! zzz...
i'm so sicj of everything, work, tuition, school assignments. i just want to go for a holiday so badly. i just want to be able to have the right mind and time to pick up a pen and start writing songs again. it's already been 4 months since i last wrote...
oh yeah and tdy during cell group, the msg was about servanthood, and then, my leader did the most wow thing. she washed our feet like how Jesus washed His disciples' feet!
hmmm.... i want to go major shopping but i'm broke=/
okay i'm rambling.
hmmm lyrics from this song we sang in cg tdy
GOD OF MY FOREVERGod of my youth i rememberYour call on my life took me o'erYour love has seen me through all my daysi stand here by Your graceon this altar i've written my lifetells of the story i have with You my Lordi want the world to knowGod of my foreverand forever i'm with youmy life is saved with a price Your sacrifice redeemed my soulGod of my foreverand forever i will singmy greatest honor will always beto serve my Lord and King.Nothing matters when you're here with mein the end just to hear you say "well done"bowing before your throneforever and everJesus you alone in glory reignforever and everwith you i walk this narrow way~
kaela @
11:35:00 PM
date:
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
zzz i'm so tired... don't know how long i can keep this mad rush up..
so much stuff has been happening, it's really making me drained.
i don't know how to meet you now, i'm not sure if i really want to know what happened between you guys. but from what you guys did, even though it's abt a year ago, it's really hard for me to believe in anything now. when your best friend and boyfriend betrays you right in your face, you just don't know what else to believe in anymore. especially when back in coffee bean i alwasys held you and supported you through your problems, the sleepover muggings and ice cream, the halloween dress-ups, all the anniversary presents i did, all the photos, suddenly everything seems like a blur.
i have so much to deal with alr, i really don't want to have anymore to think abt.
there's so much unsaid and unconfessed. even though i'm not sure how i'd react, i still think i deserve the right to know everything. what do you guys see me as? no one bothered to confess and apologise to me, i had to learn of it somewhere else, just like with joel.. you guys don't seem to respect me, as your girlfriend or best friend. i loved you guys so much.. it just doesn't seem fair that you both can lead such happy lives now, after dumping me aside.. part of me wants some form of vengeance, part of me is too dead and tired to do anything anymore.
did you guys ever thought of how it might affect me? i doubt so..
so many pieces falling into place now, but still so many gaps. i need to know..
kaela @
12:44:00 PM